IN YOUR CITY Show With Kelley and Gordon
Weekdays from 4–6 PM on 590am and streaming at louinfo.com Join IN YOUR CITY Show with Kelley & Gordon two dynamic storytellers who bring the pulse of STL to the airwaves with a bold new vibe. They ignite conversations that matter with a seamless blend of relationship values, and business insight.
From celebrity interviews to community highlights, this show will elevate your mind and your brand with sophistication, style and impact.
This isn’t just a show, it's a powerhouse connection hub. It is the HOT LIST you want to make and the conversation you don't want to miss.
IN YOUR CITY Show With Kelley and Gordon
From People-Pleaser to Bestselling Author: Rainie Howard's Journey
What happens when you become addicted to living a life you don't like? Bestselling author Rainie Howard joins us to explore the transformative power of breaking free from toxic patterns and reinventing yourself.
Rainie opens up about her unexpected journey from sharing a viral anniversary post to becoming a nine-time bestselling author and CEO of a multi-million dollar publishing company. Having married at just 21, she found herself becoming an accidental relationship expert when her authenticity resonated with millions seeking hope and guidance in their own partnerships.
The conversation takes a powerful turn as we dive into the psychology of people-pleasing, manipulation, and the courage it takes to walk away from identities that no longer serve us. Rainie challenges the conventional wisdom that relationship success equals longevity, arguing instead for prioritizing quality and wellbeing. "It's not about how many years you've been in a marriage," she explains, "it's about the quality of the marriage."
The highlight comes when Rainie shares her practical LOVE method for daily self-care: Listen and learn about yourself, Optimize your mental health practices, Validate yourself rather than seeking external validation, and Experience the present moment fully. This framework offers listeners a concrete path toward building self-awareness and healthier relationship patterns.
Whether you're struggling with people-pleasing tendencies, feeling trapped in toxic situations, or simply seeking more authentic connections, this conversation provides both inspiration and actionable strategies. Tune in to discover how reinventing yourself might be your greatest act of self-love.
You can see the Live Video To all of our shows at:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcRJsM_js_n_aX6Vt-lV2lQ
https://www.facebook.com/inyourcityshow
Well, we have our hot seat guest right now on In your City Show and it is Rainie Howard. And let me just tell you a little bit about her. She's a nine-time bestselling author, ceo of a multi-million dollar publishing company and has touched lives of millions through her transformative teachings on relationship. She empowers others to build impactful platforms. She shared the stories with the world. With over 17 years of experience, rainie is also a renowned keynote speaker, host of the Rainey Howard Show podcast. She has touched the lives again of millions, as we talked about, and her book I have with me right here, the Love Habit. Love is my favorite word. We have, like that word all over our house Love, peace and joy, yeah, and the greatest of these is love.
Speaker 1:And the greatest of these is love. Thank you for bringing that in. Welcome to the show, Rainey. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 2:I appreciate it, you look lovely.
Speaker 1:I love the colors on you and you're just. You have a different hairstyle every time I see you, which is fun. I'm the same. We look back at pictures of our years together. Oh my gosh, I've had a different hairstyle every year that I've known you.
Speaker 2:And even one of the different colors. You have to switch it up.
Speaker 1:The image Guys get new cars, I get a new hairstyle. That's just the way it goes. So nine time bestselling, that means you have nine books out there. What did you decide that you love to share?
Speaker 2:So I had a dream to become an author years before I became an author and I thought it was impossible because I'm like, I don't know any authors, I don't know where to start, how to do it, but I just remember one day just journaling and being in my quiet time like I would love to be an author one day, and I just began to get serious about it and just started researching, and so I learned about self-publishing and wrote my first book in 2015 and just went from there. I um, it was really organic because it started with me building an audience through social media and talking about things that people could relate to, like relationships. One of my blog posts went viral after sharing about my anniversary with my husband. At the time I think we were we because we got married pretty young I was, we were 21. We got married, and so around the time I shared my anniversary post, people were like inspired. The post went viral and people was like asking relationship questions and like, wow, you're giving me hope, you know.
Speaker 1:And that's what I'm looking for. I'm like what did I do with all my amazing questions? I have to ask you.
Speaker 2:I'm like I mean got married young, so relationships and having kids are kind of like the same. We just kind of jump into it without even knowing what we're really doing Exactly, and I really felt that way and I didn't know it would. Now, here we are. I'm going to date myself. We just celebrated 21 years. We're way dated past you. We celebrated 21 years of marriage. We have two college students but, yeah, starting off, you know, being young and trying to figure things out, you don't really know what you're doing. You know and just learning how to have a healthy relationship and how to thrive in your life. And so people were inspired by it and I just started connecting with more people, writing books and build this community of people who wanted to grow in their lives.
Speaker 1:And, looking through your book, one of the things that I really liked about it is that you talked about you can become addicted to living a life you don't like, and since I read it, I thought about it so many times because I get really, you know, and I get anxiety and I get, I got to take it back to one box at a time. I do 20 boxes.
Speaker 2:She starts stressing about things for six months down the road that she's got to do.
Speaker 1:But I'm working on them up until that six months. That comes, you know, and there's a lot happening and you worry. I'm very empathetic, so I really take on a lot of energy from others and worry, and so it's hard to to kind of bring that down and you can get in a habit. Habits are.
Speaker 1:Habits can be great, habits can be really bad, yes, and you get into a habit of breaking down all the time when something doesn't go your way. Or you know you're, oh my gosh, just the simplest things of what am I going to wear. Or you know my hair doesn't look right or something. And then you get put back in your humble place. When you meet Skylar, you know at the make a wish whose life is just, you know, surgery after surgery or things that she's going through, it's like, oh wow, really I'm worried about you know what I'm going to wear. Or you know we worry about money, people. You know we worry about our kids, we there's so many things that get in the way of life and we start getting addicted to worrying about it.
Speaker 2:Yes, you know and you know the patterns. One of the things that I noticed is I had a big issue with people pleasing and I realized how it was affecting my relationships whether it was coworkers, family, you know where I felt like I needed to get other people's approval. So I was addicted to people pleasing and then it was. It was a habit that I had to learn how to break free from, because it started to deplete me. I felt like I was losing myself, I was exhausted and it was all about just serving other people and I had to learn how to say what is it that I want? And just started to focus more on my goals and the things that that build more self-care in my life and social media doesn't help.
Speaker 1:It's like how many likes did you get? Oh my gosh, nobody liked my post. It must be a bad one. Let me delete it.
Speaker 2:Because I mean that's the dog or the baby, yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean, we've been put in this world where we're in the spotlight all the time, and how do we keep that image or that going? It's exhausting to worry about that. And in my case, you know, I've been through like many, many, many hardships whether it was, you know, my first marriage or losing everything in 2008, and all these things and so I had a that's the other that I really loved reinvent. You know, because you, I really loved reinvent. Yeah, you know, because you can't be afraid to reinvent yourself. You don't have to stay in that same boat, in that same place. It's okay to change. And you talk about getting out of situations, being able to see the manipulation. You know that's the thing. When you're manipulated, you don't see it. I mean, that's the whole point of the word, right, until you get away from it.
Speaker 1:Then you're like wow, how was I ever in that before? And someone will think they'll look at you. Oh, you are one strong, badass woman. You know, you're like think of that, but we all have our own deep things, don't?
Speaker 2:we.
Speaker 1:And people don't realize that we've fallen or we've come short of things or have been in angry moments or been manipulated and people think you have it all going on and it's not always. You know the case that it's okay to say you're not okay and what you can do to get out of that, right yeah you know, I think we are so committed to a certain identity.
Speaker 2:sometimes you can be in the flow of life and you're like this is who I am, this is what I do. But to reinvent yourself is to walk away from whatever you thought you were, that identity that's holding you back. So just being able to recognize wait a minute this is keeping me in a place I don't want to be anymore. It's time for me to re-identify who I am and where I want to go and who I want to be, and so it's all about having a vision for yourself and for your future. And it really does take you stepping back, because sometimes we're too close to everything and you got to turn down the noise, you got to cut off the social media sometimes. Sometimes you, you know some people in your life. You make like if people are dealing with manipulation, or maybe just people who are pulling on to them or draining them of energy. Just make some space in order to see OK, this is who I am and this is where I want to go in my life, in order to reinvent yourself.
Speaker 1:And we've been prepped and taught. Don't you think? Whether it's your job, where you're working, especially a long time ago?
Speaker 1:Now people quit because it's sunny outside, but it was a time where people really stayed with companies and were really dedicated to one another and you felt obligated to stay, to get that watch at 10 years, to get that you know to be in that place. And then the same with a marriage man. You get married. It's like I mean, those are some heavy words, death do you part? I always tease and say there should be five-year contracts because no one would be upset. You're like, oh, we're coming up to the end, I'm done. Or oh, I want to renew. You know so we just had our five-year and I renewed. So 18 months off the album, yeah so.
Speaker 1:But we grow up in these times, especially our you know age, that you have to stay committed and you have to stay where you're at and you have to stay in that marriage or stay in that job. And it causes so much damage internally and physically and mentally, depending on. You know the relationship, you know that you're in. How do you see that? And how do you? I know you said to be get quiet. Sometimes that's hard when there's so much bad noise going around you. But how do you, how do you see that and make that choice to, to, to walk away?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know. I always tell people yeah, I always tell people that it's not about how many years you've been in a marriage, it's about the quality of the marriage, because I've always been the kind of person where it was like, if this is toxic or if this is not work, listen, it's okay to get a divorce If that's just not for you, if it's unhealthy and people endure some very toxic situations and it's like you don't have to go through that just to stay in a relationship.
Speaker 1:But it's hard when you're manipulated or it's hard, when there's money or things that you have or children to be able to, to make that choice.
Speaker 2:It's very hard.
Speaker 1:I think it's probably super important. You've got to find somebody you can trust and have support, somebody that you can talk to, that's really has you know, your back, your care. What can someone get by reading your book? And it has so many great things in there so many things that resonated with me, you know. Tell us what they can get. Give us some relationship tips.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I want to say one of the techniques in the book, the love habit, because it's a daily self-care practice to a happier life and healthier relationships. But one of the things is the acronym love, l, o, v, e L for listen, learn. Learn to listen to your body, learn to pay attention to your mind, body and spirit, learn about you.
Speaker 2:And O is to optimize Begin to create some type of plan that optimize what helps you to have a better mental health in your life, whether it's meditation or exercise or whatever that's best for you, and so you could find that out in the book. And then V is to validate yourself, because we often look for validation out of other people, just like we talked about with social media, looking for the likes what do you think about me? But learn how to validate yourself based on your own personal goals. And then E is all about experiencing the life that you desire by just embracing each and every moment of now, where you are presently, instead of thinking so far in advance. But practice breathing in and breathing out and taking in where you are now.
Speaker 1:That's such great advice. We're definitely sisters from another mystery, because my um, when I was speaking in that um, the word chocolate and all the letters had, um, uh, a word of what it meant you know you were chocolate, and then I also did love. When I to the golf and the the, I let people pick their own letters. That was what I did for that. But love is a chunk, so it's like we're so yeah we're so meant to be friends.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I look forward to so much more. So the love habit, it is a daily self-care practices for happier life and healthier relationships, and it really I want to say it is truly possible, no matter how bad your life can can get that it is truly possible to have true love If you don't allow yourself to stay in a situation. Give yourself some time to breathe, Um, and you can really find it. And when it comes to even reinventing yourself that the word, I just love it, because when things go wrong, you do have the ability to reinvent your life. You don't have to stay where you're at and who you are and you're a prime example of that as well and reinventing and finding out that you're an author, you know and you never thought that was possible.
Speaker 1:And not only one book, but nine bestselling. So that's incredible. I know that we have your information on the screen so that people can be able to get in touch with you, find out more and tell them a little bit. So you wrote your books, but you also do speaking.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, I am. I am also a speaker and I have a podcast as well, so I enjoy all of that and just working with other people who want to grow as a business owner and author and how to turn your book into a business, because a lot of people think that it just ends with the book, but there's so much more and I'm so excited to learn more too.
Speaker 1:We've got a meeting set up, so here that goes. So, rainy, rainy Howard, thank you so much for being on the show with us and enlightening us and helping us to think more about our relationship and walk away from toxic mess and know that we can reinvent ourselves, and you just need to have some love in your life.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Thank you for having me. I enjoyed this Wonderful. Thank you so much. We're going to be back. We are going to meet the owner, one of the owners of Carbon, don Sorensen. Find out about this incredible place that we're at right now, carbon Membership Club, which is fine dining. There's so much to it, we're going to let him talk about it more. So we'll be back with more right Gordon. We'll be back with more right, gordon. We'll be back.
